We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
