Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
