im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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