I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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