In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
