she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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