She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
