so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
