The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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