I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
