just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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