so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
