69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
