In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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