youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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