I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
