I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
