and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
