I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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