fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
