I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My ATM looks so different sober.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
