We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
