My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
