I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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