Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
