Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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