I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
