the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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