ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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