I puked a lego.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
