So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
