I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
