She is in my trunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
