I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
should my penis look like a turkey
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
