How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
