Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
