my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
they need to just BURY HIM!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
