can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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