You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My bed smells like the plague
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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