i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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