I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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