D3 body, D1 cock
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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