And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
