being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
