I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she told me i tasted like america
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Boobs are out for the taking
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
