just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
