and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
