Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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