Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
