She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
