I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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